How to Control Your Drinking

Controlling your drinking is easy!  Just don’t break any of these simple rules:

1. Don’t start drinking before 4 pm.
2. Stop drinking after dinner.
3. No drinking in the house.
4. Avoid drinking around certain people.
5. Don’t drink when you’re angry.
6. Don’t drink when you’re sad or depressed.
7. Limit yourself to two.
8. Don’t “day drink”.
9. Never drink straight from the bottle.
10. Know your limits.
11. Don’t drink hard alcohol.
12. Switch to beer or wine.
13. Don’t drink in the morning.
14. Never drink alone.
15. Follow the Coast Guard’s 1-2-3 method.
16. Make sure you eat something while you drink.
17. Alternate between adult beverages and glasses of water.
18. Never drink in the morning.
19. Enjoy a dry month every so often.
20. Don’t have 1 or 2 to “get ready for the party.”

Need I go on?  If you’re doing all this mental juggling to keep telling yourself that you’re a normal drinker, you’re not.  Normal drinkers don’t play these games- they don’t need to.  Most normal drinkers don’t even think about it.  

If you feel you “need to control your drinking”, you probably shouldn’t be drinking at all.  The one drink you should deny yourself is that first drink.  That first drink, in ANY situation, time of day, or dilution, is the drink you shouldn’t be drinking.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it to the gates of insanity or death.

If you had been following these “rules” and you’re finding that it’s getting harder and harder to follow the guidelines, maybe it’s time to stop, for good.  An alcoholic is someone who’s turned from a cucumber into a pickle.  You can stop a cucumber from turning into a pickle, but there’s no way you can turn that pickle back into a cucumber.”