The Intervention

In 2007, my brother was a full-blown alcoholic.  Some days he would go to work.  Some days, he would drink.  It really started getting noticeable when he would disappear for a few days.  We all knew what he was doing.  We decided to have an intervention.

We contacted a rehab place, Upstate, where we wanted to send him to dry out.  They sent a counselor to meet with us and teach us how to approach him and intervene in his life and get him into treatment.

His girlfriend, me, a family friend, and this counselor all sat him down around a table and took turns speaking.

We each have something to say to you. Now, can I get a commitment from you that you will sit and listen?

When you heard that I was looking for a place to live earlier this summer, you called a couple of times and invited me to come live with you. I jumped at the chance to reconnect with you after all these years, as we hadn’t spent any meaningful time together in a long time. We had a good time for a couple of weeks. Then, after a while, I realize that you drink to the extent that you can’t do the things that you want to do, like having fun on the computers or using the telescopes. Everything was always broken.

After a few more weeks, you asked me to leave, as my incessant typing was keeping you from your much-needed sleep. I felt like you had gotten to a place where you would rather be drinking or sleeping it off instead of even trying to do the things that we enjoyed doing together.

Two months later, I was literally locked out. That was last Wednesday. Your girlfriend called me and asked me to go to your house and check in on you. When it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen you in 3 days, I didn’t want to go. I was afraid that I would find you dead in your bed. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t just ignore you. So, I got up my courage and went back and stomped on your deck and knocked on the door and tried to come in, but found myself locked out of your house for the first time in years. I was persistent, and when I finally got in, I found you, barely coherent, in a drunken stupor, at 11:30 in the morning. I tried to ask you where to get a sheet of plastic for my film scanner, but instead had a 10-minute conversation with myself, because you couldn’t even respond.

So, I’m not sure what I found that morning. I was happy that I didn’t find what I had expected to find, but I didn’t find my Big Brother, either. I found a person who I wish would get treatment for his alcohol addiction.

Treatment Offer (from his GF)

Objections (from him)

Break & Repeat Silence Contract

If he refuses treatment, a prepared statement:

Until you get inpatient treatment, we will be different:

You invited me here to live near you. I have since learned that it was because you wanted help. That’s good! I’m happy you called me. Although until recently we have lived very separate lives, we’ve always been there for one another when the other needed advice and counsel. I have learned a great deal living close to you over the past few months. I’ve also learned that you are an alcoholic. While we have this active addiction going on, I’m going to have to learn a lot more. I’m going to have to learn that I can’t help you alone anymore. My advice to work hard all day, so you can sleep at night – didn’t work. My advice to just not buy vodka on the way home from Germantown didn’t work. My advice of just having one or two between four and six didn’t work. I can’t help you. Don’t bother stopping at the Gatehouse. For you, the gate is up.