Are You Lying?

What is a Lie?  Why are you lying?  What are you lying about?

Many Facets of Lying

There are many facets to lying.  First, there’s the kind of lie in terms of when the event took place. Let’s consider these along the x-axis, moving from left to right, like we generally consider time.

In the Past – You did something and you lied about it.  Maybe it’s a one-time deal.  You did something and said then you didn’t, and everyone forgot about it.  Or, perhaps, it’s something that you did some time ago and anytime someone asks, they get the same story from you.

In the Present –  You get caught doing something, and you lie about it.  This all plays out in realtime.  “Hey, you, what are you doing?!?”  “Nothing.” “Oh, OK.”

In the Future – You’re thinking about doing something, and you lie about it.  “Hey, Honey!  I’m running out to the store to pick up a few things.”  You know where you’re really going and what your plans are, but why talk about that?  Isn’t it easier just to throw out a little misdirection?

The Audience of the Lie

So, there are just two parties involved. You and the person to whom you are lying.  Now, that brings up the next facet of lying.  Yes, you’re probably lying to everyone, but let’s simplify.  Let’s take these along the y-axis.

You can lie to yourself.  Of course, you know the truth, but you always try to justify your actions.  There’s ALWAYS a good reason why you did what you did.  And if you spend enough time on it, you can certainly convince yourself of the truth.

You can lie to someone else.  It may be your boss, or the cashier, or someone at a meeting, or a friend, or even your spouse.  You’ve got yourself convinced with all of the justifications and contingencies that you made up and chose to believe.  Now, you just have to sell the whole spiel to someone else.  You’ve been working it over in your head 9 ways to Sunday, and you’ve got a pretty bulletproof story.  Since you’ve convinced yourself, it shouldn’t be hard to put on a good act and tell your story.

You can also lie to God.  Now that you’ve convinced yourself and everyone around you, all you have to do is seal the deal and convince the guy in the sky.  If you can convince Him, then it’s OK, or maybe it never really happened at all, and there’s nothing to worry about.

The Size of the Lie

Was it a big lie?  The final axis in our sizing is along the z-axis, magnitude.

Maybe it was just a “little white lie” because you were lying to protect someone’s feelings.  Were many people involved or affected?  Was a lot of money at stake, or perhaps someone’s reputation?  What are the implications of the lie?  What would happen if the actual truth came out?  These are all factors that determine the magnitude of the lie.  How long are you going to have to maintain appearances and keep on lying about this and keep this lie under wraps?

The Actual Content of the Lie

Now that we’ve considered all 3 dimensions of this lie, let’s consider the content.  What are we lying about again? If you’re an alcoholic, you’re probably lying about alcohol:

• If you were drinking
• How much you were drinking
• Why you were drinking
• With whom you were drinking

Why all the lies?  Is there something you’re trying to hide?  What’s to hide? Something you’re ashamed about?  Are you lying to yourself because you don’t like the answers?

Things must be pretty bad if you’re having all these thoughts.  Maybe it’s time to consider getting alcohol out of your life.  If you feel that bad about your alcohol use that you have to lie about it, it might be time to start a course of action to stop drinking completely.

Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to lie all the time?