Incomprehensible Demoralization

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

-Alcoholic Anonymous, Chapter 3

Enjoying drinking v. Controlling  drinking

Alcohol is a toxic, addictive substance!  How many of us wanted to stop drinking while we were actively drinking?  To how many of us did it ever occur that we could not ever stop?  How many of us said to ourselves that this addiction would be manageable if we could just control how many drinks we had or how often we had them?  It seems that we were always walking a very fine line between enjoying our drinking vs. trying to control our drinking.  What a battle!

We couldn’t find a way to just keep drinking and continue on our merry way and drink “just enough”.  We could never have “just enough.”  We were never satisfied.  “One drink is too many and a hundred is not enough.”  We were always chasing that perfect high.  Tipsy enough to enjoy it but sober enough to conduct ourselves.  When did that turn into Bombed enough to enjoy it but sober enough to keep from blacking out.  What a battle!

“incomprehensible demoralization”

So, here we are again.  Drinking.  Trying to decide if we want to have another, or a glass of water, or maybe just wait a little while.  Why is this such a nagging question?  Why can’t our drinking be fun and easy, like we see other people doing?  Time for another?  Always this baffling battle that we have already lost with the first sip–and we hate it.  We hate what we’ve come to. Incomprehensible Demoralization.

An Answer

Give up!  Give your will over to the care of God and let Him conduct you.  We cannot control our drinking so don’t even try.  Don’t drink that first one. With a clear enough mind you can enjoy the day and your fellows.  Why do we need to pick up to have fun?  If I’m sober, I have a lot less to worry about!