I hear a lot of mentions of page 62 when people are sharing at meetings. I had to go read my Big Book to figure out what was going on. Yep! Right there in the middle of the page is the root of all my evil: selfishness & self-centeredness! Everything that drove me to drink–selfishness & self-centeredness! Just thinking of myself. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a swallow? Right now. Who else would it be for? Yes, just me.
In fact, as I’m thinking about it, selfishness & self-centeredness are the basis for all the 7 deadly sins:
- LUST – who or when I want to f**k
- GLUTTONY – what I want to eat
- GREED – what I want
- SLOTH – my indifference
- WRATH – my inability to control my anger
- ENVY – what he has that I want
- PRIDE – oh, save the best for last
This last one flies in the face of all that is AA. Through working the steps, I want to lose my pride. I want to give my will to God. I want to do his work. Pride is the biggest impediment to sobriety. Check out CS Lewis in this one. Interesting that he brings up alcohol…
Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that Lucifer became wicked: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.
C.S. Lewis
Once I can successfully practice the steps in all my affairs, I can cast off this pride and live and happier and more fulfilling life. I can stop thinking about myself and doing for others and doing God’s will.